Hello Friends,

I got some questions, and, admittedly, a bit of a complaint on my take on empathy. So, not in defense, because that would be Stage 2, but just so you can hear the random thoughts in my head, I thought I'd ramble on a bit more.

Words are complicated. We could go in circles about semantics, and especially in the Fajardo Method. For example, the word feeling. One could use that word as a label to communicate the physiological experience of an emotion. Or you could use the word feeling to describe the tactile experience of a silk scarf or the blades of grass.

Let's take the word compassion. I googled it. And it doesn't express the way I think of and generally use the word.

Compassion can be an action in response to an experience.

I can acknowledge what you are experiencing without experiencing it myself or pretending that I understand (because I can never truly understand your experience as I can only understand something in reference to my own experiences given the comparative nature of the brains we have been gifted. It makes for efficiency, but it often fails us.). I can acknowledge your experience even if your reality doesn't match up with my reality.

I can allow you to suffer because I know you are more than capable and resilient. You do not need to be rescued.

I can allow you to fix your own challenges because I know you are smart, resourceful, perseverant, and tenacious to find a way forward.

I can even help you help yourself, not to replace your effort but to empower you to help yourself. In a parasympathetic community, we engage and interact, but not to have our needs met. We take care of our own needs, or we get help to help ourselves.

I can hold space for you.

Or maybe me lexicon needs an upgrade...

Onwards, Amy