Hi Friends,

Meet my colleague, Ashley. Friend works too, as this circle we exist in certainly tends to create relationships where generally only those in it "get you."

"Thank you, Amy for the prompts and for inviting me to look back and reflect. What a wild ‘you’ve come a long way, baby!’ experience. I only hope this may speak to someone in a helpful way.

‘Ashley before’: (struggling) I believed I was physically functional because I was teaching movement to others, could do the splits, extreme back bends, perform head-whipping dance moves, and put my leg behind my head.

Meanwhile I saw countless body workers and healer-types to address head fog, digestive problems, food sensitivities, chronic pain in my neck and jaw, discomfort standing upright, and overall baseline anxiety. Emotionally, life was a constant struggle and I was a problem to fix.

My history included alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, dysfunctional relationships/love addiction, eating disorders, zero-boundaries, anxiety, perfectionism, self-loathing and existential angst. I did a lot of earnest self-examination through countless modalities but I also outsourced my healing and well-being to professionals and those close to me. While I experienced relief from the extremes, I craved approval and I recall lamenting that I just wanted to ‘be OK with myself’.

‘Ashley now’: (springy) These days, physically there is an overall sense of resilience, strength and fluidity. My body can support itself upright standing or sitting with no control or effort - there is an overall ‘springiness’. I can jump, squat, roll, dance, sleep on the floor, run through a huge airport, hike up tall hills, sleep well, tolerate discomfort, and eat anything. I no longer see any good reason to put my leg behind my head!

Even more amazing are the changes to my inner and relational worlds. I appreciate and love myself and trust life and all that is greater than me. I have healthy friendships and am at ease in social situations and also OK when it’s not so comfortable. More and more, I naturally honor my boundaries and those of others. I communicate more clearly and am able to listen and handle conflict when it arises.

It is less all about me and my problems and more about being open to living, serving, connecting, creating. I am grateful, always learning, and willing to be seen doing so imperfectly.

The Fajardo Method® virtually fell into my lap when a client kindly gifted me 4 private sessions over 13 years ago. My first session was with Amy! Something in me must have known there was TRUTH for me in the Fajardo Method®. I just kept coming back even while trying loads of other things. There was a quiet knowing deep inside that just SENSED IT - even when I didn’t think it was working - even though I had not committed fully - even when I was starting to see not so pretty things about myself. Teaching this method and witnessing changes in clients has only deepened my appreciation for it.

Amy asked what my most meaningful shift has been from my journey so far. Here is what comes to mind and what I would love to share with others: The irony is that once I took that step into self-responsibility, there has been support and surprise beyond my wildest dreams.

Here is a list of many of the practices and experiences I have tried along my way. As of this writing, they have all fallen away, but I appreciate the role in my life of every single one:

• Yoga

• Gyrotonic®

• Alexander Technique

• Breath work

• 12 Step Programs

• traditional therapy

• SSRI’s

• supplements

• special diets and fasting

• silent meditation retreats

• psychics and energy healers

• plant medicine ceremonies

• manifestation workshops

• chiropractors

• pelvic floor manual therapy 

• joining what were probably cults!

Onwards, Ashley

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This content is for entertainment and education. Not medical advice, not therapy. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any medical, psychological, or health condition. Every topic here is basically crowdsourced from your lives, your stories, and your “please explain this chaos” requests. Thanks for all the brilliant newsletter ideas.