Hi Friends,

Pay or Pass It Forward can be a mixed bag. Random acts of kindness is said to create a butterfly effect, where a single act of kindness creates a cascade of kindness. When in a line at Starbucks and the car if front of me pays for my coffee, it's a good feeling. And its thought that this will then cause me to pass forward the kindness to someone else. Sounds great, right?

Research says this phenomenon can create a sense of connectedness and positivity. When we feel connected to each other, we are kinder, more patient, and more supportive. We take better care of our communities and even think more collectively. Our world can definitely use more of this.

But in reality, I can pay for my own Starbucks. I wouldn't be in line otherwise. That $5 could be better spent on someone that actually needs it. And am I actually going to pay it forward? If not, what's the point?

Jonathan Haidt, author of The Happiness Hypothesis, suggests focusing on actions that strengthen existing social ties, like visiting your grandmother. He points out that a one-time act of kindness for a stranger is less likely to bring lasting benefits because it’s not the altruism itself that matters most—it’s building relationships. Further, people who varied their kind acts reported bigger boosts in mood than those who repeated the same act.

In the end, little things we do matter, and kindness tends to snowball. Try one of these small acts to start your own kindness campaign:

• Bring your co-worker their favorite beverage

• Sweep the leaves out of your neighbor's curb while you are already doing your own

• Give some of your homegrown honey & eggs to your neighbor

• Give an extra-large tip

• Join a volunteer group

• Smile and say hi to the other humans walking through your neighborhood

• That book you just finished? Pass it on to someone else you think would also appreciate it and tell them to pass it on again when they are finished.

To add on the nervous system perspective... if I am taking these actions because I have a desired outcome, it's obligatory, or I am looking to be seen a certain way (by myself or by others) ... this is just sympathetic behavior. So never mind. But if this is something you choose to do because you genuinely want to do it, no expected outcome or ulterior motive? This is the kind of kindness that's contagious and healthy.

In celebration of National Pay It Forward Day on April 28th, use coupon code PAYITFORWARD26 for a free online group class of any kind - us it for yourself and/or pass it along.

Onwards, Amy

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Content is this email is for entertainment and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice or a replacement for therapy. This is, unapologetically, Amy’s soapbox. If something here struck a nerve, chances are you helped spark it—so own your part. The musings won’t last forever, but while they do, consider them an invitation to reflect, laugh, or squirm a little.